Who am I ?
A search of the Real you.
“Who are you?”
“Suraj” is just your name. I’ve asked ‘who are you?’
If ‘Suraj’ is your name, then who are you? Are you and your name not separate? If you are separate from your name, then who are you? Do you understand what I am trying to say? If you say, “These are my eye-glasses,” then you and the glasses are separate, right? Similarly, do you not feel that you are separate from your name?
From your very childhood, people kept calling you ‘Suraj’ and you have come to believe, “I am Suraj.” You believe this name to be you. In reality you are not that, but you insist that you are ‘Suraj’ because everyone tells you so. Since you do not know who you really are, you believe yourself to be the name that you have been given. This has had a very powerful psychological effect on you. This effect is so deeply ingrained within you, that you believe that you are ‘Suraj’. This belief is wrong, and because of this wrong belief, you have spent countless lives ‘sleeping with your eyes open’ (oblivious to your real identity)
Will you not have to investigate who you really are? For how long can you go on being in the dark, unaware of your real Self?
Even when you fall asleep at night, you do so as Suraj. All night long this wrong belief reinforces itself, becoming stronger and stronger. Only when you realize the answer to the question “Who am I?” does your wrong belief stop. It is because of this wrong belief that you have been wandering from one life to another. You do not know your true identity and furthermore you impress upon yourself, the belief of that which you are not. You have imposed this wrong belief on your Real Self
In addition, you have also accepted the notion, “I am Suraj,” and, as a result, have behaved accordingly. This false accusation is a blunder. This blunder is the root cause of all suffering. This suffering comes in the form of inner restlessness, misery, and discontentment. At the moment, you have so many worries caused by your false belief of, “I am Suraj.” This false imposition on the Self is ignorance, and brings forth suffering.
“I am Suraj” is not only a wrong belief which we have, there are so many wrong believes we are suffering from, like “I am this woman’s husband” , “I am a Hindu”, ”I am a lawyer”, “I am this boy’s father” , “I am an uncle” ,“I am fair-skinned” , “I am forty-five years old” , “I am a businessman”, “I am a taxpayer” etc. You have to get rid of all these wrong beliefs. How can you be happy with so many wrong beliefs? That is true, one cannot live without beliefs. But what you need is the right belief.
Now, how will you get rid of all these wrong beliefs? One does not possess the knowledge of how to rid himself of this wrong belief, he continues to wander aimlessly in this world, life after life. Even if he comes to know that this belief is wrong, he does not know how to get rid of it. Infinite lives have passed without getting rid of even a single, wrong belief.
This belief of “I am Suraj” is ahankar (ego). To impose ‘I’ where ‘I’ does not belong is ahankar (ego). Ego is when you do not know who you are and you identify yourself with that which you are not. There is no harm in saying, “I am Suraj”, but the belief, “I am Suraj” should not be ingrained within you. It should be dramatic and used for identification purposes only. If the ‘I’ is in its Real ‘I’ place then it is not ego. If you believe, “I am Suraj” then the superimposition of the ‘I’ on Suraj is ego. When you identify ‘I’ with your Real Self (its proper place), then it is not ego.
If the ‘I’ comes out of its incorrectly, positioned place (Suraj) and assumes its Real place, then the ego is gone. Therefore you do not have to get rid of the ‘I’, but you just need to put the ‘I’ in its correct location.
These wrong beliefs are known as Mithyatva. When one acquires the right belief, it is called samyak darshan or samyaktva . The belief, through which one can ‘see’ the Soul, the real “I”, is samyak darshan.
To find the real “I” ,there is a need to acquire the enlightened view. The enlightened view occurs when all these wrong beliefs are destroyed and the right belief is established. This is when one can see “I” and even the world exactly as it is.
This is the start of a journey of who am I.